Why not me God?

I am thankfully on Spring Break right now.. I am so glad to have a break & ready to finish out these next 7 weeks! Baylor likes to be different therefore we had our spring break the week before everyone else in Texas. It really didn't effect anything until I found out that the junior high ministry was taking a mission trip to Honduras. Brittany, the jhigh pastor had invited me to go and jokingly encouraged me to miss school. Of course everything inside of me wanted to go!! The high school ministry recently took a trip to Africa this summer and I made the tough decision that it wasn't the right time for me to go, I felt in my heart that I wasn't fully prepared. When the trip was approaching, honestly I was a little bitter and I felt left out because all of my closest friends were going, everyone but Corry and I. We were very envious of those going but we were trying our best to be in good spirit about it and be supportive of those that were getting to go. Now the opportunity to go to Honduras comes up and I am unable to go. Once again, I would love to go and I am frustrated that things aren't falling into place. I know that God is saving me for a very special opportunity and I am praying that he prepares my heart for exactly what he wants me to do. I am having a hard time being patient and watching all of my friends take these incredible mission trips. Why not me? Why do I have to miss out again? I pray that God humbles me and only calls on me when he is ready for me. I have to remind myself that it's not about me, it's not about my selfish needs or wants..it's about who Jesus is, being Jesus to others, and loving those around me whether it be in Odessa, Waco, Honduras or Africa. I am learning to step back and pray for those ministering to other countries. I know that he has called me to many great things. Just because he hasn't called me to serve overseas doesn't mean I can't do my job where I am because THIS is where he has called me right now, in this season of my life, I am meant to be here. Only in his perfect timing, only in his will. I am praying I have a better understanding of what he wants me to do right now, where I am.

The Honduras team has been heavy on my heart. Please continue praying for them throughout the rest of the week! My prayer is that God will break their hearts for what breaks his.