Overwhelming schedule or overwhelming joy?

Where has time gone? This year has absolutely flown by, I can't believe that my freshman year of college is coming to an end! The end of the semester is always so chaotic. I am busy with exams, finals and a million other things to do before I leave for the summer. And in 11 days I will be moving out of the dorm, thank the Lord!!! I find myself lost in a never-ending to do list of things that have to get done within the next week and a half. But if I really think about it, is it really about a to do list? Is it about checking things off just to say that I did it? Am I doing it all half-heartedly, even if it is just studying?

Last week I started packing up my dorm in boxes, trying to get a little bit done at a time. Did I pack away Jesus already too, anticpating the end of the school year? Before that, he was heavy on my heart daily, he was teaching me new things, he was continuing to mold me into the woman he wants me to be. Did I pack him back into the boxes like I had done at the beginning of the year just because things were too busy or crazy? What makes my schedule so important that I can forget the God who sent his son to die for me last weekend so that I can have a relationship with him? I don't want my overwhelming schedule to steal the overwhelming joy that God can give me when I am basking in him!

Lately God has been teaching me what "surrender" means. I need to surrender my time. I pour so much of my time into earthly things that by the end of the day I am only giving to God, who is eternal, what I have left and doing it half-heartedly. I need to surrender my plans. God has laid a major burden on my heart recently and I need to continue to surrender my plans to him. Even if I think that he has already directed my path, there is always room for change because my God is bigger than my own plans. The pure joy that comes from surrendering our life to a powerful God is much greater than the pleasure I will get from living a mediocre life without God as my foundation. How awesome it would be to sit at my Savior's feet surrendering my all, knowing that I have laid my life in the hands of a sovereign God.

I don't want to wish these next 11 days away, I don't want to wait for God to use me when I get home, I don't want to just wait until finals pass or when things slow down. Why should I not surrender now and allow God to use me today? I need to unpack him from my moving boxes and beg him to use me now!!

My prayer for the next couple of days..

The more I seek you, the more I find you.
The more I find you, the more I love you.
I wanna sit at your feet
drink from the cup in your hand.
Lay back against you and breath,
hear your heart beat
This love is so deep,
it's more than I can stand.
I melt in your peace, it's overwhelming.

Why not me God?

I am thankfully on Spring Break right now.. I am so glad to have a break & ready to finish out these next 7 weeks! Baylor likes to be different therefore we had our spring break the week before everyone else in Texas. It really didn't effect anything until I found out that the junior high ministry was taking a mission trip to Honduras. Brittany, the jhigh pastor had invited me to go and jokingly encouraged me to miss school. Of course everything inside of me wanted to go!! The high school ministry recently took a trip to Africa this summer and I made the tough decision that it wasn't the right time for me to go, I felt in my heart that I wasn't fully prepared. When the trip was approaching, honestly I was a little bitter and I felt left out because all of my closest friends were going, everyone but Corry and I. We were very envious of those going but we were trying our best to be in good spirit about it and be supportive of those that were getting to go. Now the opportunity to go to Honduras comes up and I am unable to go. Once again, I would love to go and I am frustrated that things aren't falling into place. I know that God is saving me for a very special opportunity and I am praying that he prepares my heart for exactly what he wants me to do. I am having a hard time being patient and watching all of my friends take these incredible mission trips. Why not me? Why do I have to miss out again? I pray that God humbles me and only calls on me when he is ready for me. I have to remind myself that it's not about me, it's not about my selfish needs or wants..it's about who Jesus is, being Jesus to others, and loving those around me whether it be in Odessa, Waco, Honduras or Africa. I am learning to step back and pray for those ministering to other countries. I know that he has called me to many great things. Just because he hasn't called me to serve overseas doesn't mean I can't do my job where I am because THIS is where he has called me right now, in this season of my life, I am meant to be here. Only in his perfect timing, only in his will. I am praying I have a better understanding of what he wants me to do right now, where I am.

The Honduras team has been heavy on my heart. Please continue praying for them throughout the rest of the week! My prayer is that God will break their hearts for what breaks his.

Convenient, Comfortable & Casual

Convenient, Comfortable & Casual

Never three words that I want to use to describe my relationship with God, but lately it has been just that.

God calls me to seek him at all times. Not when it's convenient for me, or when it fits into my daily hectic schedule. Not when I need him, or when things are tough. He has pursued a relationship with me that should demand my attention all the time. Just like any other relationship it requires many things from me, for example TIME, communication, acts of service, a righteous spirit, giving, TIME. I tend to let my busy schedule consume most of my time, always wiping things off my to do list and adding new things to it. I hope today that I can remind myself of the importance of a daily relationship with God and not just desire a relationship that happens to be convenient for my schedule.

I have found myself in many uncomfortable situations in the past few weeks and they have left me with many questions. But in the midst of these moments, I felt God's hand at work in my life. God never promised for it to be easy, nor comfortable. I am thankful that it is not easy.. because when God provides, He provides. He never holds back his best from us. When I am uncomfortable, I learn to rely on God as my sole provider for comfort. I am embracing these moments because I KNOW that God will provide for me and what a promise that is!!!

There is nothing casual about a relationship with Jesus Christ, our Savior. The God of the universe desires a relationship with me. What's not to get excited about?? I shouldn't be casual, or nonchalant about this. I should be ecstatic that He wants to know me personally. He didn't casually die on the cross and He didn't casually rise again 3 days later. Why should I casually approach Him? I am so thankful that I am one of His and that I get the chance to know Him better. I pray that I can embrace each moment spent with my Savior.

I am so thankful for a God that is loving and understanding.
Through my present trials, God knows exactly where I stand.

"Now that we know what we have-Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God-let's not let it slip through our fingers. We don't have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He's been through weakness and testing, experienced it all-all but the sin. So let's walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, and accept the help."
                          Hebrews 4:14-16