My biggest struggle...faith. All too often I allow my lack of faith to control my relationship with God. This lack of faith has begun to rule my world.
One of my favorite songs is Mighty To Save by Hillsong. I sing about God being big enough to "move mountains," and how He is a God who is "mighty to save," and that "Jesus conquered the grave." But do I really believe He can move mountains? Do I completely understand what it means to conquer a grave? Is he mighty enough to save me or anyone else? What, in my world, proves that I believe all these things? I don't have that answer.
In high school, we were always given group projects which I hated because I felt like only one or two people ever did anything. Usually I was one of the ones doing most of the project. I never trusted anyone else to do it. I felt like it wouldn't get done if it were left up to someone else. It was my grade at risk and I knew that if I did it myself, it would get done and on time. So often, I try to take things into my own hands and do it myself because I don't have the faith in others. This is my struggle with God. I take every matter into my own hands and try to fix it by myself. By doing this, I am just insulting God. I believe that if I leave it in anyone elses hands, it won't be right. And in truth, if I left it in God's hands, it would be so much better.
I don't have the faith and trust in God that I wish I did. If I really had the kind of faith that I sing about in church, my whole world would look very different. I admit, I rarely ever hand my problems over to God and allow Him to help me. I doubt the mightiness of God and the power that He holds. Matthew 17:20 slapped me in the face tonight..the disciples were asking Jesus why they weren't capable of something and Jesus replies "'Because you're not yet taking God SERIOUSLY.'" Jesus goes on to say '"The simple truth is that if you had a mere kernel of faith, a poppy seed, say, you would tell this mountain 'Move!' and it would move. There is nothing you wouldn't be able to tackle.'" There is NOTHING I couldn't overcome? So if I had that faith, I could tackle anything. Define: anything. Lots of things come to mind that I wish I could fix, change or overcome. But yet I continue to lack faith in God even though He has proved Himself faithful time and time again and I have doubted the creator of the world. My prayer is that God will strengthen my weaknesses and that I will learn to take Him seriously.
Who is in control? Are you taking God's role in your life seriously? Is your faith in yourself? Or the God of the Universe? Who is ruling your world?
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