The last place I put God: a box.

I want to share with you an excerpt of a book I am slowly but surely reading. It is called Praise Habit: Finding God in Sushi & Sunsets by David Crowder. It is kind of long but totally worth reading.

I used to think I knew where to find God. He seemed to always be where I put Him last.

He was in Sunday school every Sunday morning. He was in "big church" right after. He was there most Sunday nights, too. He was around out dinner table when my father read from the blue Bible-story books. He was there when I prayed before meals. He was there most times I prayed elsewhere, too. He was there during my quiet times. He was at church on Wednesday nights. He was really there at church camp in the summer. He loved church camp. I think He just liked summers better in general. Once school started back, the moments with Him were farther spaced, it seems. I enjoyed finding Him. It felt like things were right. Even if they weren't, it felt okay. I wanted more moments with Him. I heard there was a Bible study on Monday nights, so I went, and sure enough-He was there. I had an accountability group and we met on Tuesdays, and sure enough-He was there, too. I heard about another Bible study that met on Thursdays, so I went, and wouldn't you know it, there He was. He began showing up in the songs we sang around 1983. It was called contemporary worship. It was great. He was always in these songs, so I would sing them whenever I wanted to find Him, and sure enough-there He'd be. By the time I got to college, I thought I had it all sorted out with everything in its place. Then tragedy came.

If I could have written this myself, I would have.This paragraph speaks volumes to me and often times I find myself thinking about it more and more each day.

August: I put God in a box. An actual cardboard box, along with all my other junk I was bringing to college. Pillows, bedding, pictures, clothes, books I anticipated to read, rugs, laptop, shoes, towels, camera. Everything I thought I needed until I visited home again. Everything I thought I needed to survive in my new town. Everything that was comforting to me. God was in a box too, somewhere. My Bible was in there among the books, devotionals and bible studies I had packed. What's wrong with this picture? I didn't really know where God was. I had packed Him up and was going to "unpack" Him when I needed Him. I wasn't really having a relationship with this God that I had learned about in high school. So, I came to college..and from the very beginning it has been an emotional roller coaster from one day to the next. My parents dropped me off, and I cried. And I cried some more. I needed God..but He was no where to be found. He was still in the box that I packed Him in back in mid-August. This was my "then tragedy came" moment.

Tragedy always comes. If it hasn't come for you, it will. Not the losing-your-homework kind or the having-to-flush-your-goldfish kind, but the kind that leaves you stripped. The kind that tears from you all ideas about living you once believed untearable. Mine came my junior year of college, and it came in a phone call. It was my mom. She said " David, something very terrible has happened." The words that followed were bombs. As they came hurtling toward me through miles of telephone wire, my muscles turned liquid, and when she finished, I was left wilted on the floor, and God was not there. At least I could no longer find Him. And I had no idea where to begin looking again. The places I used to frequent, I no longer trusted. In seven minutes everything I had thought about everything was dramatically different.

Well, I felt stripped, and I still do in a way. But God has stripped me of everything to get my attention. I use to look for him and find him in the youth ministry at Crossroads, in Shape on Sunday mornings and small groups Sunday nights, in my 8th grade girls small group I led, in my group of Godly friends, in Brittany Bethel, and in Scott Windham our youth pastor. And He was always there, He always showed up. Then tragedy came, maybe not through a phone call but it came, hard and fast. I felt empty, here I was in a new town with new people, new churches, a new place to sleep. Everything was new and I could no longer find God in the comforting places that I once knew or where I last left him..usually in the chairs of the auditorium at my church. What I had once thought was a relationship with God was actually just a convenient acquaintance relationship. I feel stripped and broken but God is breaking me down to my core. He has gotten my attention in the past few months and I am thankful for that. Although it has come through suffering, I have realized that God is not where I put Him last or where I thought He was. He is bigger than that, MUCH bigger than that. I am still learning what it takes to be in a relationship with Him and what it means to praise Him. He has taken my world and flipped it upside down (a few times) but I am learning what it means to follow Him wholeheartedly with everything inside of me. Where did you last put God? Have you looked for Him recently? When are you going to allow Him to start using you instead of only taking Him out of the box when you need Him?

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him.
Psalm 37:7